We
always say “As a human being you should sympathise with people
around you and offer them comfort.” OK! That's great! We always say
that assuming that the human being is the most civilised creature.
But.. what if.. only if.. there was a better choice?
Every
human being is the centre of his/her own universe. It's absolutely
normal. That doesn't mean they are “self-centred”. What
determines selfishness and its vice is the distance from the centre
at which you place people and whether you see them in full
dimensions; not just a moving bulk of flesh and blood but a container
of memories, thought, hope, frustration, love and fear, and a
significant creation of God that has its glow and its flaw.
If
Aicha is in trouble and Enas wishes to help her, Enas starts asking
herself:
“Has ENAS done enough for AICHA?”
“Has ENAS made AICHA
feel any better?”
“Has ENAS been a supportive friend to AICHA?”
Awww!
That's very sweet and generous of Enas!
NO!
It's NOT!
Notice
that the name ENAS appears each time before AICHA. Why? Actually, her
name should not appear at all! In most cases, even if AICHA does not
feel any better, ENAS does not work any harder because ENAS's goal
was to “show” support so she does that and even if the results
are not favourable, she just stops there. This is about AICHA so ENAS
should forget about herself a little.. and this is finally where I
get to my point..
What
if I -also known as Enas- forget that I'm a human being with full
existence and imagine that I am... emmm... an alien from Neptune and
that I'm a mere observer of the human condition. All my experience
and my human connections serve only as a database of advice that I
will use as an alien while trying to comfort my 'human' friend with
minimum reference to me, my life, my sorrows, my ANYTHING. I, ME and
MY are forbidden to be spoken.. or even thought of!
This
will require so much patience. You cannot try this when you're tired,
hungry, in a bad mood or when the weather's hot. Aliens don't like
summer!
Perfectionist
and impossible to apply in real life? Maybe, but I'll have fun
trying. Imagining to be a alien from Neptune can never be boring.
I
don't claim to be a perfect friend. Frankly, my friends are being
extra patient with me and my behaviour all the time [ thank you guys
<3 ]. But we all just want to make life easier for each other. :)