Grandpa

I was finally able to clearly communicate with one of the people who live inside of me. He's an old man, an annoying one too.

"You know, I never expected that an old man would be in me, since, you know, I'm a girl and I'm .. younger." I said between pauses, not knowing how exactly I should be talking to this 'person'.

"Of course, you are young and ignorant," he rudely replied. "How do you, foolish girl, think you like Um Kolthoum? Why do you think you hate shopping? Why do you think you hate Justin Bieber? That's me! That's all me!" 

"Well, thank you very much for that, but I'm just wondering if I'm 17, how can you be.. How old did you say you were?"

"I'm as old as the journey of the river. I'm as old as the blaze of the sun," he said dramatically.

I looked at him, utterly clueless..

"It's because of me that you like poetry, by the way," he paused. "Stop staring, you anaemic! OK! OK! I'm 78!" he screamed..

UGH! He's sooo rude! He's going to die soon anyway!

"And you aren't brave enough to say that to my face?"

My God! Of course he can read my mind! He lives IN my mind! I blushed..

"For your information, foolish girl, I was born the day you were born and I will die the day you die. Unlike you, I was born old. I was born 78. I'll always be 78. I'll keep on calling you (foolish girl) until you're 78 just like me, only then can we get along together," he explained.

"Wait, wait, wait!" I said "I don't remember ever hearing you when I was 10 for example."

"Well of course, foolish girl, I was there but I was not loud enough. No one could beat that squeaky voice that kept on screaming BARBIE! BARBIE!"

"Oh! You met her? Oh! I miss her!" I said in a nostalgic tone.

"Yes! I met her. I think I might have killed her." he said and my jaws dropped in a shock.
"I'm just kidding, you foolish girl!"

At this point I was very grateful to meet the 'voice' that made me hate shopping .. aaand Bieber. However, that was quite enough!

"Sooo.. emmm.. it's been a pleasure... emmm.. maybe... emm.. we'd do this again...later.. OH! I forgot to ask.. what's your name?"

"Foolish girl! I'm Yu!"
"Cute name! What's that? Chinese?"
"No! Foolish girl! I'm YOU! YOU! YOOOU!" He pointed at me with all his fingers..
"Ooookeey! You're me! Goodbye Mr. Me! Mr. You! AAAH WHATEVER!"

Then I decided to call him Grandpa..